Filters

Over two centuries ago, Socrates, the Greek philosopher introduced the 3 questions filter. He knew the power of words and how they can impact and influence. Applying the filter offers an opportunity to reflect on the nature and purpose of your communication.

One morning as the story goes, an acquaintance approached Socrates, eager to share information about another mutual associate. Before the acquaintance managed to speak, Socrates waved his hand, signaling him to pause. “Wait a minute", said Socrates. "Before you say anything it might be a good idea to consider what you are about to tell me.”

“First, is what you are telling me true?”; “Well”, said the acquaintance, “I am not really sure". 

“Is it good or nice then” asked Socrates; “Oh, not really" said the acquaintance.

“And is what you are about to tell me useful?”; “Does it have a purpose?"

Looking puzzled the acquaintance thought for a few seconds and then replied. ”Now that you are asking, not that I can think of.”

“So״, said Socrates, “if what you want to tell me may not be true, is not nice, and does not serve a purpose why would you anyways?”

You see, the fabric of human interaction, how we relate and connect, is woven in words. The quality of our relationships and our impact is proportional to the quality of our communication.

Applying the Socratic 3-questions filter helps leaders communicate in a purposeful and elevating way. What we say and how we say it affects and shapes thoughts and feelings. This is what makes the difference between inspiration, trust, and confidence to discouragement, doubt, and discord.

And there’s another pan to applying filters in communication; it has to do with the way we interpret and react to what we hear or read. Especially when we perceive the information in a negative way. In a fast-paced, multi-tasked, and hyper-connected world, it is easy to default to lazy communication because the time is short. Most people do not consider their language, the audience, or are truly be clear on their intent.

And so there isn’t a week going by without at least one person sharing with me frustration, agitation, and other ill feelings about an email they're received or something that they heard.

The plot is always similar. Something was said or maybe inferred, negative emotions triggered, a reactive chain of self-doubt and defense mechanisms erupts. We lose capacity to stay present and we get derailed.

We can aspire to use the Socratic filter in our communication but we can't be responsible for how others choose to connect and we don't always understand others’ frame of reference. Applying the Socratic filter principles BEFORE we interpret and react creates enough space to respond mindfully and in a productive manner. 

So next time you feel triggered because of anything that you hear or read pause and ask yourself:

Is it true?

Does it serve a purpose?

Is there anything I can do about it?

If the answer are yes… well… seize the opportunity to grow, transcend, improve; and if the answer is no, let it go. Getting upset, defensive, or combative are emotional reactions that do not serve.